Archive | 4:04 am

Our secret language #SOL15

26 Mar

F&L_Bed

Living alone with dogs, I go off the deep once in a while, becoming a crazy basset lady. Over the years, I have developed a secret language that I only use with the dogs. There are words, expressions and phrases. Most are spoken, some are sung. All are ridiculous.

make a deposit in the poop bank verb  to drop poop back in a receptacle

Example: Oh look honey, the neighbors left their trashcan out so we can make a deposit in the poop bank.

the train is leaving the station verb from the lightrailese, often an order to hurry

synonyms: get a move on, get cracking, hop to it, hustle, step on it

Example: OMG, Fiona, you are so slow! Let’s move it. The train is leaving the station.

nanner noun  banana

Example: Girls, would you like to share my nanner?

nanner-time noun time to eat a banana, often sung, as Thank Heaven for Nanner Time in a French accent (a la Maurice Chevalier) to the tune of  Thank Heaven for Little Girls 

belly mohawk noun  the ridge of flesh dangling from the underbelly of a senior basset hound

Example: Don’t step in the puddle, Fiona, your belly mohawk will get wet.

cookie noun  any treat

Example: Lucy, do you want a cookie? Sit!

Dr. Pet Vet proper noun affectionate name for Dr. Davies, also, a character fromThe Hilarious House of Frightenstein, a Canadian TV show of the 1970’s, starring Billy Van and Vincent .

to chase a bunny verb to dream, esp. to make spasmodic movements with the legs while dreaming.

Example: Oh Lucy, sleep sweetly.  Are you chasing a bunny?

mama’s special helper noun  sous chef

Example: Come in the kitchen and you can be mama’s special helper while I make dinner.

waddle noun  a walk, esp a basset event involving many basset hounds

Example: 1. Hey girls, let’s go for a waddle. 2. The Waddle begins promptly at noon. All bassets must be leashed.

howliday noun  any celebration, but especially those in December

Example: I wonder if we will get any cards today for the annual howliday card exchange.

flat-basset adjective  a passive aggressive basset move in which a basset ays down and refuses to move

Example: Our 20 minute walk took an hour because Lucy went all flat-basset in a sunny spot.

 

As you can see, living with basset hounds requires a very specialized vocabulary. Maybe I’m not that crazy after all.

 

 

 

 

 

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