Living alone with dogs, I go off the deep once in a while, becoming a crazy basset lady. Over the years, I have developed a secret language that I only use with the dogs. There are words, expressions and phrases. Most are spoken, some are sung. All are ridiculous.
make a deposit in the poop bank verb to drop poop back in a receptacle
Example: Oh look honey, the neighbors left their trashcan out so we can make a deposit in the poop bank.
the train is leaving the station verb from the lightrailese, often an order to hurry
synonyms: get a move on, get cracking, hop to it, hustle, step on it
Example: OMG, Fiona, you are so slow! Let’s move it. The train is leaving the station.
nanner noun banana
Example: Girls, would you like to share my nanner?
nanner-time noun time to eat a banana, often sung, as Thank Heaven for Nanner Time in a French accent (a la Maurice Chevalier) to the tune of Thank Heaven for Little Girls
belly mohawk noun the ridge of flesh dangling from the underbelly of a senior basset hound
Example: Don’t step in the puddle, Fiona, your belly mohawk will get wet.
cookie noun any treat
Example: Lucy, do you want a cookie? Sit!
Dr. Pet Vet proper noun affectionate name for Dr. Davies, also, a character fromThe Hilarious House of Frightenstein, a Canadian TV show of the 1970’s, starring Billy Van and Vincent .
to chase a bunny verb to dream, esp. to make spasmodic movements with the legs while dreaming.
Example: Oh Lucy, sleep sweetly. Are you chasing a bunny?
mama’s special helper noun sous chef
Example: Come in the kitchen and you can be mama’s special helper while I make dinner.
waddle noun a walk, esp a basset event involving many basset hounds
Example: 1. Hey girls, let’s go for a waddle. 2. The Waddle begins promptly at noon. All bassets must be leashed.
howliday noun any celebration, but especially those in December
Example: I wonder if we will get any cards today for the annual howliday card exchange.
flat-basset adjective a passive aggressive basset move in which a basset ays down and refuses to move
Example: Our 20 minute walk took an hour because Lucy went all flat-basset in a sunny spot.
As you can see, living with basset hounds requires a very specialized vocabulary. Maybe I’m not that crazy after all.
booksandbassets 