Last ride

10 Nov

sol

Later today, Fiona and I will probably take our last ride together. She’s been failing slowly over that last few months, more quickly the last few weeks, rapidly this week.

I’ve been looking for a “sign”, the sign they always tell you about. The one Clara gave me when she was ready to go. Louie gave no sign. We came home from a walk one day and, while I was getting ready for school, I heard a “thunk” in the living room. He was gone before I got there.

But, Fiona is a fighter. She’s fought cancer, bounced back from the surgery to remove a rock in her intestines, suffered my ministrations as I cleaned her ears every other day to fend off  chronic ear infections. She’s fighting now, too, but this time, I can see that she isn’t winning. For the last week at bedtime, I’ve been telling her it’s OK if she doesn’t wake up. I’d understand. But she is a fighter.

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And so, after school today, we will drive to the vet. I am expecting that she won’t be coming home, but I don’t know that for sure. Vets won’t euthanize a dog that shouldn’t be euthanized, but I think he will.

Here she is in 2009, a year after I got her. This has always been my favorite picture of her.

Fiona-Grass3

Funny how it is so much easier to write about this than it is to talk about it.

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13 Responses to “Last ride”

  1. 3011mileswestofvt November 10, 2015 at 6:22 am #

    My heart goes out to you, Adrienne. This is never easy. Hugs to you both.

    • Adrienne November 10, 2015 at 7:28 am #

      Thanks.

  2. arjeha November 10, 2015 at 7:23 am #

    My thoughts are with you. That last ride is one of the most difficult one any pet owner has to make. I know, we have made a few ourselves. My thoughts are with you. Please give Fiona an extra hug for me.

    • Adrienne November 10, 2015 at 7:28 am #

      Thanks.

  3. elsie November 10, 2015 at 7:37 am #

    Tears fill my eyes as I read this. I know how heartbreaking this is. What a beautiful basset Fiona is! I’m so sorry for this sadness in your life.

  4. Andrea Gillespie November 10, 2015 at 7:58 am #

    10 Good Things About Fiona:
    -her ears
    -her patience
    -her howl
    -her

    • Adrienne November 10, 2015 at 8:02 am #

      Thanks. It is going to be a long day. My stomach is in a knot and I am half afraid he will say no, it is not time.

    • Andrea Gillespie November 10, 2015 at 8:46 am #

      -her drool
      -her tail
      -her eyes
      -her sleepy ways
      -the way she rocks a boys t-shirt
      -her love of treats
      -her love of Adrienne.

  5. Dana Murphy November 10, 2015 at 8:57 am #

    Oh, I’m so sorry to read this. My thoughts are with you. I think you expressed so beautifully what so many pet owners feel.

    • Adrienne November 10, 2015 at 9:20 am #

      Thanks.

  6. Judy C. November 10, 2015 at 11:30 am #

    I can feel your pain and worry. We’ve been through it twice with our cats and now that Max is 14 and having problems, we may be once again taking that last drive. It’s never easy losing a dear friend, but the memories of the times you’ve had with Fiona with bring you much joy.

  7. Melanie Meehan (@MelanieMeehan1) November 10, 2015 at 5:05 pm #

    I have a very old lab, and I completely understand the sadness in your post. It’s amazing how much we love our dogs.

  8. writekimwrite November 11, 2015 at 12:01 pm #

    All of my cats and dogs have been rescues of one kind or another. In their final days I have always felt it was my duty to rescue them again! So hard, though. My vet gave me some wise advice. She said think of 5 things your pet loves to do and when he/she can not do 3 of them it is probably time to let them go. Last Fall it was time for my 14 year old Sharpei mix Beatrice. I miss her still. To honor her I adopted a dog from the shelter. Olive is so different in stature and temperament but the joy of having a dog continues! I am so sorry about Fiona but am certain her paw prints of love will never leave your heart. In time there may be another dog you can honor Fiona by caring for.

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